There’s something about power, isn’t there? I’m not quite sure where to begin. There’s power surrounding me all of the time except, perhaps when I am back at home. To go outside is to face “order” from a bunch of people who possibly wouldn’t even care once I am laid to rest.
See, I have a problem with power – with putting people on pedestals. It’s also rather funny because I only recognised this in my last year of high school. I was like, f**k it, why am I even here listening to all of this and obeying all of these rules? I should be at home on the internet or even at the library gaining knowledge that I know will benefit me some day and not be forced to in learning, “trappe van vergelyking”. And now that I am out of high school and have had bosses to whom I should be obeying… it’s tough.
Witnessing colleagues put bosses or people in higher positions above them is almost, what’s the word? Nauseating. Of course it’s wonderful to have someone that you can learn from, someone who has more experience than you but what happens when the inferiority complex comes into play and that’s what you have to deal with 9-5? Maybe that’s why I don’t fit in in most spaces because there’s always someone to be worshipped, someone who is the golden boy. It’s not jealousy – not even close. It shakes more towards subservience. Maybe that’s why most men don’t like me when I open my mouth because I refuse to put them first.
I believe that we should be feeling liberated all the time doing the unconventional and thinking by ourselves and not be forced into following the person above us in title or in a space. Why can’t that be? Living life without feeling you need to do something or not do something because there’s someone who says you can’t?